I believe that while you cannot judge a book by its' cover you absolutely will know a tree by its' fruit. As I approach my favorite time of the year, retrospect has paused me by identifying what came out where and with whom as I've navigated the last full season of my life. It's been quite a personal journey and a very eye-opening year. My triggers TRIGGERED in areas that I did not account for. As I approach the fourth quarter of this year, I cannot help but be grateful for heart muscles that are sore from consistently pumping behaviors and situational responses fueled by kingdom fruit. I find myself utterly humbled by the daily presence of aligned, divine, strategic, earthly help. Life will happen. Family will hurt you. Friends will betray you. Lovers will leave you.
But at what point do you become accountable and understand your response to any person or situation says more about you than it does about what happened or is currently happening to you? What you don't deal with will come out at some point to deal with you and everyone you interact with.
This is something that I have had to be reminded of gently at times and firmly at others. I have had moments where I felt like people were playing in my face. I have had moments where I have felt like God was playing with my faith. (You can hide that, but I'll be transparent enough to admit it for us all.) I have had moments where I've felt like the sacrificial lamb. I have had moments where I could have easily done to others what had been done to me.
I knew in each moment that my response could be the catalyst or detriment for change, but it's in this last year that I can say I really understood the value of being change. There were days when my responses came quickly, easily, and righteously. There have been days, recently where I've had to ask myself "Where is this coming from? Why do you feel this way?" in order to sit with how I may have felt to keep from dishonoring the value of that moment. Each and every interaction we have with others is uniquely important. I have learned over time the value of stewarding each moment my presence is called to show up. It only takes one moment to alter an atmosphere. Moments may be small but they can have a lifetime impact.
I am not perfect by any means but I am now able to see the healing, whole evidence of God's precious, obscure fruit showing up regularly in my own life and intecations. God's fruit cannot be bought, taught, or sold. You cannot scam them, you cannot finesse them, and you cannot steal them. You cannot put a title on them and you cannot dress them up to be anything other than what they truly are.
You cannot touch them and you can absolutely feel them as they flow...
Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control.
As I continue to process wholly, I am more mindful of why longsuffering is written in the middle and self-control is written in the end. It was not until I submitted to healing through God's love to provide joy and peace no matter my circumstances that I became able to extend the goodness, kindness, and gentleness that is yielded by giving others grace where they are, as they are. It is the hindsight in highly triggered moments where the obedience to the Holy Spirit yielded habits and behaviors in self-control that afford me to write today and say to you...
Sit still in your process, wherever you may be, because God does His best and most thorough work in the dark. Healing is not a pretty, overnight process. It is designed to unravel who you think you are so that you can become who God destined you to be. People may forget what you say, but they will always remember how you chose to treat them. Healing and brokenness both bear fruit, apples to apples; oranges to oranges. What you do in each moment says more about the condition of your heart than any words ever will. Don't just go get your blessings, make sure they come with the fruit needed to steward them well.
Be wise. Be well. And more importantly, be HEALED.
~Healing Is A #HeartPosture~ Kesh C.
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